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sorchawenchLife should not be measured by a birthdate and death date, but by the dash between those dates on a tombstone. Endless numbered days we have to live, hopefully, a good life.
~*~
When I was 5, I was plagued by the desire to stab myself in the stomach, for unknown reasons.
When I was 11, there were living nightmares that chased me through my dreams.
When I was 15, I would suffer from panic attacks that would leave me passed out, gasping for breath on the floor.
When I was 39, I lost my mother to complications of Multiple Sclerosis.
I have known extreme fear and pain, and panic, and sadness.
For the longest time, I let it rule my life. I avoided people, I didn't attend school, I never had what one might consider a normal childhood. People around me walked on eggshells, for fear of triggering an episode of panic or depression.
But as the prompt says, "There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days".
~*~
Thanks to medication and a LOT of therapy, I'm a mostly functioning adult now. There are things I was plagued with as a child that have drifted away.
Gone now is the completely paralyzing fear. Gone now are the random urges to hurt myself. Gone now are the panic attacks where I would pass out from the overwhelming anxiety.
I still have bad days from time to time. Days when I just *can't*. But those days are fewer now. More good days than bad ones.
~*~
When I was growing up we would visit an Aunt and Uncle who lived in Missouri next to a lake that was fed by freshwater ground springs. I remember visiting those springs, at the source and laying in the cool water, letting it flow over my body, washing away my troubles.
One of my favorite ways of destressing now is a cool shower, where I can just stand there and let the water pour over me. Taking me back to those carefree days in the springwater, when all I had to do was float and daydream. Letting my troubles drift away.
~*~
My dash hasn't always been the easiest to live, but by the time my days have drifted, I hope that it was a dash worthy of remembering...
~*~
When I was 5, I was plagued by the desire to stab myself in the stomach, for unknown reasons.
When I was 11, there were living nightmares that chased me through my dreams.
When I was 15, I would suffer from panic attacks that would leave me passed out, gasping for breath on the floor.
When I was 39, I lost my mother to complications of Multiple Sclerosis.
I have known extreme fear and pain, and panic, and sadness.
For the longest time, I let it rule my life. I avoided people, I didn't attend school, I never had what one might consider a normal childhood. People around me walked on eggshells, for fear of triggering an episode of panic or depression.
But as the prompt says, "There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days".
~*~
Thanks to medication and a LOT of therapy, I'm a mostly functioning adult now. There are things I was plagued with as a child that have drifted away.
Gone now is the completely paralyzing fear. Gone now are the random urges to hurt myself. Gone now are the panic attacks where I would pass out from the overwhelming anxiety.
I still have bad days from time to time. Days when I just *can't*. But those days are fewer now. More good days than bad ones.
~*~
When I was growing up we would visit an Aunt and Uncle who lived in Missouri next to a lake that was fed by freshwater ground springs. I remember visiting those springs, at the source and laying in the cool water, letting it flow over my body, washing away my troubles.
One of my favorite ways of destressing now is a cool shower, where I can just stand there and let the water pour over me. Taking me back to those carefree days in the springwater, when all I had to do was float and daydream. Letting my troubles drift away.
~*~
My dash hasn't always been the easiest to live, but by the time my days have drifted, I hope that it was a dash worthy of remembering...
no subject
on 2021-11-03 02:07 pm (UTC)