DW IDOL, Thanksgiving Optional Entry: Thank You

[sorchawench]

I don't know if this is an entry as much as it is an apology for no entry. I'm on Day 5 of missing one of my medications, and on Day 2 of having just gotten another medication back on board (Thanks major holiday in the middle of the week, causing the pharmacy to be closed!)

I'm missing my Focalin, which is my ADD med. I can't focus. I can't think. My brain flips from subject to thought to meandering daydream as fast as the leaves falling from the trees.

Write about your Mom...

I can't.

Write about your job...

I can't.

Write about your husband...

I can't.

I can't focus. I can't stop the train from switching tracks. I can't stay steady on course, set to a goal.

~*~

So I guess I will write about the fact that I called in my refill last Monday morning. It's a paper script, can't be phoned or faxed in. I called again on Tuesday to see if it might be ready. I was told that if I didn't receive a call by 6PM on Tuesday then I would not be getting my medication, as the office was closing on Wednesday for Turkey Day.

So, when my phone rang at 8AM on Wednesday morning, I was surprised. It was an accountant with my Doctor's office, calling to let me know my script was ready.....

.....but since the office was closed for the holiday, I'd have to wait until Monday to pick it up. And then she wished me a great annual stuffing of the face holiday.

Angry is not a sufficient word for what I was.

Gee, THANK YOU for calling and being completely useless. /insert dripping sarcasm here

~*~

That was 4 days ago. I don't know what's worse. The lack of being able to focus or the physical withdrawal symptoms.

Monday morning I can go pick up my script and get it filled. I just have to hang on until then. The husband is walking on eggshells because my temper has been slightly hair-triggered as I come down from the meds. I'm trying really hard to keep my rambling, angry, irrational internal dialogue from getting out.

I recognize that it's irrational and a side effect of coming down.

~*~

I have to go to work in an hour or so and then work a double on Sunday. All I **WANT** to do is curl into a ball and scream.

Monday can't get here soon enough.

Comments

[murielle]

I'm so sorry! How awful for you. I hope that you were able to get through the weekend, and that Monday brings you the relief you need. *Hugs*

[kehlen.livejournal.com]

You describe not being able to focus very vividly...but for all that you cannot, this entry is very well put together, and at not point did I wonder 'but how does this follow from that?' You did a very good job here.

(Hope you have your meds by now and stopped wanting to bite people's heads off ;) ) *hugs*