DW IDOL WEEK #3: TSUNDOKU

[sorchawench]

::looks around a room of writers::

Sooooo....we've all got enough books, right? No one needs anymore, we're good, we're all caught up with what we've got. Am I right?

::crickets::

Yeah, me too.

~*~

I have books. I don't have bookshelves, no room currently, but I have boxes of books. Boxes. And more boxes.

Did I mention I have boxes of books?

Some of those books I've read so many times they have become family, and I cannot bear the thought of letting them go, so they live in plastic boxes.

Some of those boxes have books that may yet become family someday...

Someday.

~*~

I am a crafter. I could say I sew and leave it at that, or I make jewelry, or I work with clay, or that I weave. But in actuality, I do it all. And as a result, I have supplies. Beads, yarn, fabric, stamps, carving tools, wood burners, looms...

And I have boxes. One is filled with skeins of yarn and small looms. Two or three have fabric, divided by yardage, project designation, or scraps. There are beads and jewelry supplies in another.

Those boxes have amazing projects that I have yet to do someday...

Someday.

~*~

I have major depressive disorder and severe generalized anxiety. A fancy way for saying I have issues.

I put them in boxes too.

I have a box of past abuse and trauma. I have a huge box of self-esteem issues. I have a box of goals, dreams, and future achievements...but it's hard to look in that box. It's near the bottom of a stack of issues, and if I'm not careful, I'll topple the stack and then I'll really be in trouble.

But that box has some really nice things in it that I'd like to be someday...

Someday.

~*~

It's a process you know. Reading those books in the boxes. Sometimes I have time to pull out a new friend.

I just finished a new outfit for my medieval reenactment group, so there is less fabric in that particular box.

And today during therapy I acknowledged that I need to give myself permission to tell people "No" when they ask me to complete projects they want *ME* to do for them, on the basis of friendship alone, without compensating me for my time and skill.

~*~

Today was a good someday.

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

Very powerful last line here.

[sorchawench]

Thank you

[bsgsix]

Wow. The boxes... and the box of anxiety, abuse, and trauma, just the mention of that within the way you framed this around the concept of "someday?" That really packed a freaking punch. Someday is imperative here. Those boxes are all imperative, for the storing and then, for the unpacking - when the time is right.

I'm happy to hear about the therapy. NO is such an important skill - it's more than a word, truly, but a skill. Saying it is unpacking yet another box.

This was wonderfully written.

[sorchawench]

Therapy and I are old friends. And I'd bet money that someone, at some point, told me that saying "No" was perfectly acceptable. But sometimes you have to clue x 4 me upside the head before I grasp a concept.

[bsgsix]

Oh, same, same - I began when I was 13, I think, and I turn 37 Saturday. "No" was a hard one, because I was raised with abuse, and that meant having to say yes or getting into serious trouble (which happened anyway). So it's tricky, no clue x 4 needed.

I start with a new therapist tomorrow, which is both great and terrifying. But it's needed. My former doc left for Florida with literally no notice, which... is a problem for someone with PTSD and abandonment issues, haha.

[sorchawench]

Good luck with the therapist, I hope there's a connection that'll benefit you.

[bsgsix]

Thank you - it's definitely a tough connection to make, to be able to open up like that. But my fingers are crossed! I hope yours continues to benefit you as well. :)

[sonreir]

Learning how to say "no" is one of the most powerful things you can do.

I really liked this.

[sorchawench]

Now I have to practice my "no". It's a new concept that my tongue still trips on when I try to say it.

[tjoel2]

I like the theme of boxes in this piece. Very nice!

[sorchawench]

Thank you

[the_eternal_overthinker]

I loved the concept of boxes as well and then bringing the stuff out when time is right. The someday re-affirmation works very well. All the best for learning to say "no" to " complete projects they want *ME* to do for them, on the basis of friendship alone, without compensating me for my time and skill. "
Happen all the time, isn't it? I get into this situation a lot.

It's lovely to be creative and try different things , Cheers to that! :)

[sorchawench]

Happens ALL THE TIME. People assume that if they give me fabric I will custom make them a piece of garb and either let it go for free (cause we're good friends) or charge something minimal ($20?!?!?!? Damn, I didn't know it was going to be that much. I mean, I bought the materials...).

[bewize]

I *really* related to this entry. I'm glad you had a good day.

Learning to say NO is life changing.

Good luck!

[sorchawench]

Thank you. I'm looking forward to practicing "No".

[onecheapdate]

Oh, this went to places I wasn't expecting! I really liked how you switched from actual, physical boxes to metaphorical boxes. We definitely all have some of those. I can relate to ALL of this.

(Also, your hamster icon is so cuteeee.)

[sorchawench]

Thank you!

[rayaso]

I love the way you worked the prompt in this, to go from physical boxes to very personal ones. I hope you continue to make progress with therapy and are able to unpack some of your personal boxes.

[sorchawench]

Thank you. The physical boxes are a clutter, but the personal ones are a PITA.

[halfshellvenus]

I liked the structure of this very much-- especially leading toward that happy conclusion. :)

[murielle]

Oh, I can so relate to this! I'm not as accomplished as you, but I have a huge stash of fabric, etc., for someday, myself.

You paced this beautifully, and I love how you included your issues as well as stashed. All the things we tuck away for...someday.

Very well, done!

[reidharriscooper]

Someday is something I truly can relate to. Not with as much baggage as most, but enough to think... someday.

[nayanawrites]

I love the way you totally boxed this for me. From the box of books to the box of crafts to the box of emotions - I carry them all too. So this definitely worked for me on many levels.

I think this is one of the best things about idol - we connect with so many people from all over the planet and we find so much in common.

Well Done