Week 22: Sweep the Leg

[sorchawench]

He

I will swallow your gasps like wine. Feel them shudder down my throat in time to the tremble in your knees. I'll feel you begging long before the words are ripped from your tongue. Teeth bitten lips that part on lines of fire.

I'll paint you a chessboard of rainbow agony. Skim tooth and nail across blood screaming to be let loose just to watch you stumble. Fall for me.

You're stubborn. I admire that in you, and I want to tear it from you. See you give in to gravity, to the tears you're blinking back. I will demand them one by one until you show me rivers.

Show me your soul. Lay your pleas at my feet. Let me breathe in the canyons you're carving into wood just to keep your balance.

Fall for me.

Fly for me.

~*~

She

Lust has no mercy and neither do you. Your words rip into my soul and leave gashes bleeding pure desire.

I wished to lie trembling at your feet, fallen, knowing that henceforth, whether I wished it or not, I existed for love, and passion.

For nothing silences my sobs like the abyss that is your bed. When lust commands, even love obeys.

~*~

He

I want to taste you.

All of you. From the curve of your back to the sweep of one graceful leg.

I want to make you scream my name until your throat is raw.

~*~

She

Give me someone who writes

Who knows how to find the words and force them to their knees on the page, on the screen. Mouth to mouth....a shouted greeting, a whispered command.

Give me someone who can string the thoughts together, tie them in knots, as I get tied up. Ribbon fantasies wrapped about my wrists....pulled tight, pulled taut....suspended from that hook in my mind.

Leave them to dangle like a string of pearls about my neck, cooling on my skin and give me just a few more precious words.

Comments

[theun4givables.livejournal.com]

The desire in this is palatable. Damn.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

I was hesitant about using it for the topic. But my brain is stuck on erotica, no matter what I try to do to distract it.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[theun4givables.livejournal.com]

Sometimes you gotta do what the brain gets stuck on. :) It's definitely not over the top, either, which is what I'm terrified with when it comes to erotica.

You're welcome. :)

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

For me, the first section felt more like rape. It was only when I read her thoughts (and implied consent) that I could read it as desire.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Me, too-- I was concerned that this was some sort of abuse scenario, and it was surprising to see that it was welcome. Tears do not connote desire to me!

I can't imagine it would be explicit enough to offend anyone, and the final section was such an interesting twisting of something already there.

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

The last two sections were my favorites.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

I did not intend to cause any overtly disturbing feelings, so if I did, I apologize.

This was meant to be an, *implied* graphic, entry based on a Dominant/submissive lifestyle. Potentially graphic, but deliberately not blatantly graphic.

I appreciate the comments though. Made me look at it in a whole new light.

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

Oh, you didn't offend me. There was a point of time in my life that I used to read a lot of BDSM stuff. Although the first section was very stark, it was also well-written.

[dmousey.livejournal.com]

When the whole entry is taken in context it is clearly a Dom/sub scenario. I understood that. Love the line:

"Your stubborn. I admire that in you, and I want to tear it from you.

That just seems so deliciously villianous. :)

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I forget occasionally that not everyone can pick up on the D/s theme immediately.

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

this is very intense! especially the first two sections. and personally i don't mind a little erotica. :D (i wouldn't exactly call this restrained, but it's not ott or excessive. i think it works.)

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[i-17bingo.livejournal.com]

You're stubborn. I admire that in you, and I want to tear it from you.

In this setting, boy do I understand this impulse. Wowsers...

If you don't mind, I need to hit Post and find a cold shower...

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

LOL, Thank you!!!

(sorry about the shower)

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

The final section of She is evocative and fascinating, I really enjoy the way you twined those two ideas together.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

[favoritebean.livejournal.com]

The passion in this makes for a compelling read. I like that she asks for words at the end. It really shows the difference between male and female desires. Words are definitely power in the bedroom.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Make love to my mind and you'll earn my body.

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

Very evocative and passionate, although I mis-read the beginning as suggesting rape. Very strong, powerful imagery.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

As I posted above, I apologize, I did not intend to cause any overtly disturbing feelings.

Thank you for the feedback however.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Emotional, raw and richly descriptive
AW

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[witchyfop.livejournal.com]

Intriguing exercise into the dichotomy of desire. Very well done.

[chrissy smith-lathrop (from livejournal.com)]

Whew...

Hawt damn.

[litlspookygirl.livejournal.com]

I love the use of metaphor throughout this piece. It paints such a vivid picture, and it makes the intensity of his need to dominate and her desire to submit very palpable. Bravo!

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[tatdatcm.livejournal.com]

Wow! *fans self* Definitely not what I expected from the prompt. You did it beautifully though.

I especially like the final two He/She's.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thanks!!

[fodschwazzle.livejournal.com]

Luscious images float through these lines, or rip through depending on the moment. It's an interesting mix of aggression and sensuality without being too descriptive.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Wow. Thank you very much!

[karmasoup.livejournal.com]

Being familiar with scene, I recognized this right away for what it is, though, being on the other end of the spectrum, myself, I would have found it more endearing if the roles were reversed. But you've captured the sentiment effectively.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

You know, I have tried to write from the other end of the spectrum. It's not as easy as one might think. Not just a switching of pronouns.

Thanks for your comment!

[karmasoup.livejournal.com]

I certainly understand the psychological complexities more than most, and it's not the kind of thing one can just imagine. . . If it's not in your nature, it doesn't come across from a natural perspective, and the work suffers as a result. I have written about it in the past, but then, they say you should write what you know, so that's why I've had some success. But I'm not picking on you for coming from this direction. I just happen to appreciate seeing its counterpart, as it's less common or expected. But, no harm in writing what you know.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Oh my. This was very well done erotica. Love the chessboard line. Great stuff!

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[kehlen-crow.livejournal.com]

Very poetic. I enjoyed it.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

this is the kind of thing I like to read but never could write worth a damn. Thank you. :)

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

Loved the last Para most...and enjoyed reading this..erotic but nicely done..well written!

[watching-ships.livejournal.com]

oh heck.
this is fantastic.

[xlovebecomesher.livejournal.com]

Very intense - love it!

[talon.livejournal.com]

whoa. what a take on the prompt.