LJ Idol Week 12: Barrel of Monkeys

[sorchawench]

"Your life must be more fun than a barrel full of monkeys! I wish I could have that!"

"You're so selfish! Don't you want to carry on the family name?!?!?!"

"You must be living it up, no kids, no real responsibilities!"

Right.

Living child free was our choice. And I have caught more flack for that decision than any I think I have ever made. Friends tell me that I'll never know true happiness because I've never heard the words "I love you Mommy". Coworkers tell me that I don't have real responsibilities because I don't have children to chase after. Random strangers call me selfish because I've chosen to not open the baby factory for my In-Laws.

What people don't realize is the sacrifice we've made, by deciding to live child free. We face an questionable future as elderly people without the traditional family to take care of us. We've never kissed a boo-boo, sung a lullaby, or put on a brave face for the first day of school.

We've chosen to live child free for health reasons. Because we've got some genetic issues we didn't want to roll the dice on, for our future offspring. Why would I want to subject a child to my anxiety issues? Why would I want to risk having a child with my husband's bipolar issues? We've sacrificed all the experiences a child would bring us, and we are labeled selfish and carefree.

I like to joke that as dog owners, we can chain the mutts in the yard, and as long as they have food, water, and shelter, we're good. Tongue in cheek, I say, try that with a child and eventually someone's gonna call CPS. Parents look at me in horror.

Yeah, we're child free. We're rolling in money, living it up weekly, and enjoying the free life. ::eyeroll::

My life is fulfilling. I am complete. I am at peace with my decisions. Please stop assuming otherwise.

Comments

[kagomeshuko.livejournal.com]

Ugh. It bothers me so much that people think they have the right to tell others how they want to live. It's none of their business.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

It would bother me less I think, if their arguments made any sense.

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

This is beyond disappointing. Sorry to hear you have to deal with this sort of judgement.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

It doesn't happen often, and generally it's a short conversation with someone I strive to never have interactions with again.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

We are also childfree, it just never happened for us, and we've comes to terms with that. You have to make the decisions that are best for your situation, and if others take issue with it, that's their problem. *hugs*

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

I agree

[waltzmatildah.livejournal.com]

I HEAR YOU. With pretty much every paragraph.

And also, the notion that choosing NOT to have children is more selfish than choosing to HAVE them is such a falsehood!! ARGH! It makes me SO ANGRY!!!! Both are choices!!

(obviously there are situations where choice plays no part - but that's not what we're talking about here)

My best friend (I call her that out of habit, but really, we've grown apart drastically over the last few years) palpably pities me because I'm not a mother.

Thank you for writing this!

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

YVW.

[penpusher.livejournal.com]

Well said.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thank you

[shimmerdream.livejournal.com]

I agree with everything you've said here.

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thanks

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

Yes I agree you deserve to live your life of content..and it's always the tendency of humans to keep comparing, judging, dolling out advice. Cheers! for the parting line.:)

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[sorchawench.livejournal.com]

Eh, more frustrating than anything. Thanks!

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

_I_ would miss having children, but other people aren't me!

I'm sorry you've been subjected to this-- and more than once. :(