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Aug. 31st, 2014 05:26 pmSo. After 20 years, I am going back to college. I am going to be working towards an AAS in Health Information Management.
20 years ago, college was not an easy place for me. I was suffering from extreme Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and Agoraphobia. I was borderline suicidal. Every class felt like I was being watched, stared at, and talked about. Every class was a trial. Some I dropped. Most I just didn't attend enough and therefore didn't end up with the best grades.
It's 20 years later though. I'm a different person than I was back then. I still have GAD and Depression, but I am no longer suffering from the Agoraphobia to the same extent as I did. I feel "stable" enough to try the school thing again.
That being said, I feel the need to...."explain".....one of my newest coping mechanisms.
With the hep of my counselor, I am going to be relying on the use of Loki. He will be acting as a Psychiatric Service Dog for me, during school hours. Now, before anyone runs off to figure out if this is legal, please let me assure you that yes, it is quite legal.
According to the ADA, a Service Dog must be task trained to perform a service to the person it works with, that the person might otherwise be unable to do themselves, due to their disability.
I have been working with Loki to alert to my anxiety attacks and to perform a specific function to make me aware that my anxiety is peaking. Specifically he registers when I am highly anxious, paws at me to alert me, and then when I pick him up, lays in my lap to help keep me focused and grounded. This is also known as deep pressure therapy.
Now, some of you may call bullshit. And that's fine, your opinions are your own. I had my own doubts about this from the beginning. But I know how I react when I do not have him with me, and I know how I am when he is there. As a result of having him doing these tasks, I have had to rely on emergency PRN medications much less. Like......never. These are highly addictive medications and I don't like relying on them to help control my anxiety.
Some of you may be scratching your heads, wondering where this is all coming from. Because I normally present as a stable, relatively in control person. Let me assure you, that is far from the case some days. What you see is 39 years of learning how to hide the raging panic I'm feeling behind a calm exterior. It's a coping mechanism. It's a method of self-protection.
I have already been in contact with the college's office for Students with Disabilities. Matter of fact, Loki and I were there for a face to face meeting yesterday. I was very open and honest with the Director for Student Services about my issues, and being that this is the first PSD they've seen, it helped them to understand the concept much better. I have received approval from the office to have Loki join me in classes.
Many of you have seen Loki with me at events. Yes, even at events I have anxiety and panic. He is a buffer for me, between the world around me and my own crazy fears.
Please do not assume that this makes me any weaker, just because I am not sure I can function in some aspects of my life without a dog trailing after me. I assure you that I am stronger than you may realize and am perfectly willing to ram any predisposed notions up arses, as needed.
Even so, I felt the need to explain in greater detail to those around me the whys and wherefores of Loki joining me in classes. Someday I hope that I'll be confident enough to walk in those doors on my own, and achieve the goals I set. Until then, I need a little help.
If you have any questions about this post, feel free to ask away. I have always been an advocate for mental health and removing attached stigmas, and that hasn't changed.
20 years ago, college was not an easy place for me. I was suffering from extreme Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and Agoraphobia. I was borderline suicidal. Every class felt like I was being watched, stared at, and talked about. Every class was a trial. Some I dropped. Most I just didn't attend enough and therefore didn't end up with the best grades.
It's 20 years later though. I'm a different person than I was back then. I still have GAD and Depression, but I am no longer suffering from the Agoraphobia to the same extent as I did. I feel "stable" enough to try the school thing again.
That being said, I feel the need to...."explain".....one of my newest coping mechanisms.
With the hep of my counselor, I am going to be relying on the use of Loki. He will be acting as a Psychiatric Service Dog for me, during school hours. Now, before anyone runs off to figure out if this is legal, please let me assure you that yes, it is quite legal.
According to the ADA, a Service Dog must be task trained to perform a service to the person it works with, that the person might otherwise be unable to do themselves, due to their disability.
I have been working with Loki to alert to my anxiety attacks and to perform a specific function to make me aware that my anxiety is peaking. Specifically he registers when I am highly anxious, paws at me to alert me, and then when I pick him up, lays in my lap to help keep me focused and grounded. This is also known as deep pressure therapy.
Now, some of you may call bullshit. And that's fine, your opinions are your own. I had my own doubts about this from the beginning. But I know how I react when I do not have him with me, and I know how I am when he is there. As a result of having him doing these tasks, I have had to rely on emergency PRN medications much less. Like......never. These are highly addictive medications and I don't like relying on them to help control my anxiety.
Some of you may be scratching your heads, wondering where this is all coming from. Because I normally present as a stable, relatively in control person. Let me assure you, that is far from the case some days. What you see is 39 years of learning how to hide the raging panic I'm feeling behind a calm exterior. It's a coping mechanism. It's a method of self-protection.
I have already been in contact with the college's office for Students with Disabilities. Matter of fact, Loki and I were there for a face to face meeting yesterday. I was very open and honest with the Director for Student Services about my issues, and being that this is the first PSD they've seen, it helped them to understand the concept much better. I have received approval from the office to have Loki join me in classes.
Many of you have seen Loki with me at events. Yes, even at events I have anxiety and panic. He is a buffer for me, between the world around me and my own crazy fears.
Please do not assume that this makes me any weaker, just because I am not sure I can function in some aspects of my life without a dog trailing after me. I assure you that I am stronger than you may realize and am perfectly willing to ram any predisposed notions up arses, as needed.
Even so, I felt the need to explain in greater detail to those around me the whys and wherefores of Loki joining me in classes. Someday I hope that I'll be confident enough to walk in those doors on my own, and achieve the goals I set. Until then, I need a little help.
If you have any questions about this post, feel free to ask away. I have always been an advocate for mental health and removing attached stigmas, and that hasn't changed.
