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LJ Idol Week 1 Topic: Jayus
Mar. 14th, 2014 01:03 pm“From Indonesian, meaning a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.”
At first my brain seized up. Jayus?!?!?!? How the hell am I going to write on this topic? Woe! I might as well quit now!!!!
See, it's been a fair piece since I've done any real, brain exercising writing. I've been writing my erotica, sure, but that's not exactly a strenuous workout for the grey matter.
I decided to take on the task of Season 9 to get back into the habit of writing things that I wouldn't normally gravitate towards. My plan is to write on each topic I am able to, even when I am eventually voted out.
So I sat down and thought about Jayus and how it pertains to my life. I have a ton of jokes that fit the description of the theme....
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A: Because if it had 4 doors it'd be a chicken sedan.
Ba-dum-ching!
I know those fit the definition of Jayus, because I tried them out on my husband. He facepalmed....and laughed.
But I can do better, I thought.
In the SCA, I am a Bard. A singer, a poet, a teller of tales. And, when the occasion calls for it, a deliverer of bad jokes. I've received official Baronial Displeasure for pirating a comment thread on Her Excellency's Facebook and filling said thread with bird puns.
Bad bird puns.
Surely I could come up with something......
And then it hit me.....this would be the perfect time to introduce a new story/bad joke I've been sitting on.....(you would have my apologies, but it *is* the topic)
~*~
There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had 5 squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had 20 knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms.
I guess this just proves that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
At first my brain seized up. Jayus?!?!?!? How the hell am I going to write on this topic? Woe! I might as well quit now!!!!
See, it's been a fair piece since I've done any real, brain exercising writing. I've been writing my erotica, sure, but that's not exactly a strenuous workout for the grey matter.
I decided to take on the task of Season 9 to get back into the habit of writing things that I wouldn't normally gravitate towards. My plan is to write on each topic I am able to, even when I am eventually voted out.
So I sat down and thought about Jayus and how it pertains to my life. I have a ton of jokes that fit the description of the theme....
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A: Because if it had 4 doors it'd be a chicken sedan.
Ba-dum-ching!
I know those fit the definition of Jayus, because I tried them out on my husband. He facepalmed....and laughed.
But I can do better, I thought.
In the SCA, I am a Bard. A singer, a poet, a teller of tales. And, when the occasion calls for it, a deliverer of bad jokes. I've received official Baronial Displeasure for pirating a comment thread on Her Excellency's Facebook and filling said thread with bird puns.
Bad bird puns.
Surely I could come up with something......
And then it hit me.....this would be the perfect time to introduce a new story/bad joke I've been sitting on.....(you would have my apologies, but it *is* the topic)
~*~
There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had 5 squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had 20 knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms.
I guess this just proves that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
