WTF?!?!

Because of a post in a community I belong to, I stumbled across a few Appearance Rating Communities.

Why the fuck would you want to do that to yourself?!?!?!?!?!?!

Who gives a shit about the opinions of people on the internet who want to judge your looks, despite the fact that they will never impact your life?!?! Why open ANY door for them to impact your life?????

Gah...this is a level of stupid, that people do to themselves, that makes me want to bash my head against a wall!

If this sounds like you.....stop it. Don't be a moron. Unless your nose is in the middle of your forehead, off center, and twisted to the left.....you are freakin gorgeous!!! Stop seeking approval from random internet strangers!

Stolen from gypsydove

If Star Wars was set in Glasgow

Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he'd only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He'd have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Celtic top.

Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as ****y-Nobby.

Darth Vader would referred to as 'Auld Helmet Heid' or in moments of stress 'That Dome-Heided Basturd'

R2D2 would refuse to go out on the streets after 10pm because of the number of drunks who would try to stuff chip papers in his head casing or **** on him. He would also refuse to go near groups of wee boys at any time because of the high risk of being spray painted/dumped in front of a speeding train/set on fire.

Although proficient in over 3500 languages C3P0 would still be unable to understand anything anyone from the East End of Glasgow said. He would regularly get beaten up for being a 'greetin-faced **** fae Milngavie'.

The Millenium Falcon would have static strips, tinted windscreens and extra-flared exhaust ports. It would have a Daily Record I Love Scotland sticker in the back window and a saltire bumper sticker.

Princess Leia would get captured by Darth Vader because it's hard to run very fast when you're wearing 5inch platform heels and a tiny silver mini-skirt which keeps hiking up over your **** every two steps. And you've been a heavy smoker since you were 6.

The best way to destroy the Death Star would not necessarily be a desperate all out attack. Two easy ways would be - alter its orbit so it passed through Bridgeton and tell the locals it was full of kafflicks, or - leave it unattended in Easterhouse.



Lines from the film as they would be uttered in the vernacular:-
Han Solo
"I've got a real bad feeling about this"
"Ah'm ****in' ma sel' here boy"

"Bring 'em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around."
"Come right ahead then ******s! Fight the f**ing lot o ye!"

"There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny."
"The Force?!! D'youse think ah came doon wi the rain?!"

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
"Nae messin aboot wi the god squad and auld rubbish, wee man. Get yersel' a decent shooter"

Darth Vader trying to shoot down Luke Skywalker:
"The Force is strong in this one"
"Stop shooglin' ya wee b*stad!"

Princess Leia
"You're a little short for a Stormtrooper aren't you?"
"Ah didny think they took short-erses in the polis?"

"This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade."
"Wuv goat NAE chance in this pile o' sh*te"

Admiral Motti
Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader."
"You think you're that hard, Vader so ye do. Well we're no feart ae you!"

Obi Wan
I felt a great disturbance in the Force."
"F*** me! whit wiz aw that?"

Luke to the Emperor
"Your overconfidence is your weakness."
"Oh ye bloody think so?, i'll make you feel the f***ing force pal!!"

Ritual...

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Gardening Post

Sunflowers have been planted. Had Virginia come out and help with it. You'd think she'd never planted a seed before. She thought you had to stand all the seeds upright, so they would grow correctly.

If the world goes to shit, I do not want her in charge of the planting.

Nice thing about sunflowers is that they don't require a lot of work, effort, or preparation.

~*~

Contemplating a bee garden next season. Looking online for that now. I've seen a couple of bees visiting the rose bushes earlier this spring, but I'd like to grow things to encourage whatever hives we have around here.

There's a spot in the yard that would be perfect for one. It's away from the house, so bee-phobes can feel safer. It gets plenty of sunlight and it borders the fence near the creek. Free water for the bees.

So far, for bees, I'm finding.....

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